2015 Portland Mini-Tournament

July 19th, 2015


The day started out in typical hockey fashion, those traveling the farthest were on time, or even so early that they were chastised by the pool staff, while those who live closest took their sweet ass time and showed up with only minutes to spare. A quick reffing course was argued about on deck by a few people who think they know what the rules should be, with everyone who didn’t know the rules ending up being more confused than if no reffing course had been conducted at all. Somehow we made due and no horrendous calls ensued during play, however there were certainly some calls that were missed, surely due to both Paul and Luther.

The teams were split evenly (lol) into four different teams, with what Kim claims were no bribes or debauchery, however the strength of Team 4 seems to negate that statement. I can’t remember who was on which team exactly, however I know that my team of myself, Lars, Loren, Ken, Ben, and two others (Team 1) had great difficulty against team 4 (Mark Swick, Luther, Mikel, … who wasn’t on this team?).

While team 4 racked up at least 6 points per game, and walked away with only 2-3 points against per game they were the decided victors. It was dicey as team 1 lost to team 3, but beat team 2, which had beaten team 3. The day came to a close and came down to the last match between team 1 and team 2 to find out who would be the first loser… er… second seed.

Team 1 ended up with that honor.

The playoffs began with team 3 playing team 2, and someone won, but it was for 3rd and 4th, so no one really paid much attention. Team 4 and team 1 fought a good match, and of course, as the way the day went team 4 was victorious.

Finally we got to the games that really mattered, the exhibition games. Team Oregon, sans the traitors Lars and Loren, played against team LuLaLoLadies. The three L’s and the Ladies ended up rolling over the crippled Team Oregon in a 10 minute all out no half time game. After that it was Team Seattle (sans traitor Luther) vs. the 4L’s, and team Seattle fell by 1 goal in the end as well. The ladies were victorious in the end.

After a full day of hockey, debauchery was had thanks to Josh and his culinary skills and the beer flowed and the day was rehashed, and Paul’s version of events continued to make him the abused innocent victim… It’s almost like he makes up stories and lies for a living.

In the end, great fun was had by all, and we should really do this more often.